I was awesomely productive today. Here's the list:

-Cleaned the apartment (i.e. cleaned bathtub, changed the sheets, collected dirty laundry, cleaned the kitchen, loaded & ran dishwasher, cleaned up living room, put away Christmas box and Pastry server, swiffered the floor, and started cleaning the deck chairs)
-packaged 5th book for Amazon.com customer
-deposited paycheck
-filled gas tank (for just under the budgeted $25!)
-mailed 5 books for Amazon.com buyers and bills
-picked up stuff to make zucchini muffins
-2 loads of laundry
-made zucchini muffins
-changed sheets on my bed at home
-stopped by work to visit my mens (since they were both there today)
-visited ailing grandmother
-drove out to Oberlin to pick up computer charger (which I forgot there this morning)

w00t! Now, while I watch What Not To Wear, I'm going to go through the clothes I've already pulled from my closet and put aside the brand name items to go to Plato's Closet. hoo ah.

Oh, and I'm going to set up a PayPal account tomorrow (when I have less sketchy, less stolen internet access) to make it easier for those who are purchasing items from me. :)

Productivity has slowed for the moment. I'm exhausted. Been working a lot. Had a fight with my dad last night. My to-do list is daunting and I just want to quit my life. Need to get my oil changed. Need to pick up more birth control at family planning. I hate being poor. I hate the cheap b.c. I get from f.p. I miss the good stuff. Wish I could afford it.

I'm looking at address labels online. I want Kappa Delta ones. I've been really feeling the sisterly love/spirit lately. I even wore my pin the other day. I put KD seals on my Christmas cards, I used the labels they sent me and I loved them. I want more. Small things, I know. Maybe insignificant. But they symbolize something much deeper to me. I might not say it all the time, but I love my sisters, I loved living in the house, and there are times I really miss that.

I guess I'm quarterlifing it pretty hard right now. I lack focus, which I need more than anything. I need to get this application done. It's my only hope, right now.

I'm with Ted--here's hoping 2006 is better than 2005.

I did laugh yesterday. So hard tears came to my eyes. One of my friends at work cracked me up (at the expense of a co-worker, but hey, that's how it is sometimes). Life isn't all bad. But right now, it's a little overwhelming.

Merd, that "devotional" you posted today couldn't be more fitting to my mood right now. Thank you.

Zucchini nut muffins are the bomb-diggity.

Now I'm going to go to fp to get my bc so I can get on with my day. Hang tough, kids.

I'm in kind of a funk. Started last night. Work was "anh". Annoyed about this whole Bush-spying thing and that his approval rating is going up. Now NYC transportation is shut down. Feel like the apocalypse has to be coming. As Matt said last night "Instead of the President of the UN being the anti-Christ it's the President of the US". My anxiety is generalized and free flowing at the moment and it sucks because it is my day off this week. Grrr. This is not how I want to spend my day off. How I DO want to spend my day off--wrapping presents, finishing my cards for work, cleaning up my room, seeing RENT again with Katie and making dinner for Matt. I should work on my Loyola application too. *sigh*

I want to go back to bed and start over.

The Biggest Loser—
I’m soooooo glad that Nick is gone and his attitude in his follow-up shows exactly why he needed to go. He didn’t have the right attitude about the whole thing, and he was annoying—good riddance.

I’m rooting for Dr. Jeff, Suzy and now I have to admit Matt (as much as the crying former athlete commercials drove me insane all summer). And I can understand why Suzy’s team was mad at her—but it was because of her that they won. She knew she couldn’t do it any other way, and Ryan was the one she brought with her. So I’m glad it worked out for her. Maybe it was kind of cheating, but I’m glad she knew herself and her strengths and weaknesses to do what she had to do. And come on, how could you not love Dr. Jeff. He’s the man. I don’t care if he wins the money; I just want him to do really well.

To Do List—
Purposely waited on this post so I could cross off another thing or two…
*Download information from Loyola U Chicago by October 1
*Download information from 3 other schools by October 1
*Finish reading Quarter-Life Crisis
*finish reading Overcoming Anxiety
*take one practice GRE psych test
*review 3 chapters from GRE study guide
*outline for Loyola entrance essay

Vivien—
My car is jealous of my computer. She liked being the big expensive toy. Now she has a younger “sister” and she’s jealous. She threw a fit. And I had to send her to the car doctor to get fixed. Only there was much more wrong than I thought so I’m going to be spending more money on her than I had anticipated. She needs to stop being a sissy and deal with it. (Don’t you love how I personify my car?) So for today, I’m using Matt’s car.

Today—
Did some laundry, watched “The Biggest Loser”, worked on the stuff on my to-do list. I need to read some more and do some other things from my personal to-do list for my day off (oy vey). Feel pretty accomplished

So I've realized that I really really need to get a new computer. One of my own. One that works. This coming to the library and/or trying to use Matt's computer just ain't workin' for me. I'm in love with the Mac powerbooks and the biggest problem, besides funding it of course, is deciding between the 12" and the 15". Combo drive is the given (why do I need to burn DVDs?). Price difference is $500, which makes me want to go for the larger one, since it's not that much cheaper to get the smaller one. I mean, $500 is a significant chunk of money, but not when you're considering shelling out $1500 vs $2000. And I could handle the $50 a month (roughly) with their financing options. The problems are that (A) I shouldn't spend the money right now. There are other things that money should go towards first, and (B) if I get into school a year from now it will be cheaper to get it then--I can get the Mac Education discount for being a student. What I should try to do is see if I can get a discount later if I buy it now then get into school--like if they would take some money off of my bill for it, since part of the reason I want it is that it would make it much easier to do my school applications, etc. I guess I really need to look at my finances and what not again to decide if I can afford to do it or not right now. Eesh.

Got up early today (my last day off for almost 2 weeks) to take Matt's car to get her oil changed. Yeah, there was an easier way to do it, but we didn't think about that until AFTER we'd gotten to the car place. Oh well. So I'll have to pick him up from work tonight before we can go back to Oberlin. Hoo ah.

Biggest Loser 2 totally rocks. I'm rooting for Dr. Jeff hardcore because I like the fact he realizes doctors who don't take care of themselves are part of the problem. Plus he's got a wife and four daughters to take care of. Yeah, he's by far the one I'm pulling for. And I'm not sad that they got rid of Ruben. I wasn't impressed by him.

I need to find 3 more schools I think I'd like to go to by the time I go to bed Saturday night. The problem is that I don't know where I want to go. I really like the sounds of the program at Loyola Chicago. University of Illinois at Chicago sounds like a possibility too. I'd kind of like to look at the St. Louis area and maybe further west--Washington state is one that has been thrown around a bit between Matt and myself.

God I really want my own computer. Seriously, like words can not describe how badly I want to get my own computer...

Now I remember why I was interested in the U of Missouri--one of the researchers whose material I used for my senior project teaches there. And to me that is very cool...

I can say I've found 3 schools. I hate doing this research in the library. I want my own computer, damnit. Oh well...I shall see what I can figure out...

More later...hang tough, kids...